The Weekly Ringer

The University of Mary Washington Student Newspaper

That's What She Said…

2 min read


Carnal Cravings

As anyone with a can of whipped cream and a willing partner well knows, food and sex go together like Lindsay and rehab.
But just when you thought food fetishes couldn’t get any freakier, a new batch of crazies called vegansexuals emerges from New Zealand.
This newfound league of sex snobs turn their noses up at mating with meat-eaters because they claim their bodies are “made up of dead animals.”
Yum.  I don’t know about you, but suddenly I’m really in the mood.  I just can’t decide if it’s for an orgasm or a bucket of fried chicken.
According to New Zealand paper The Press, Annie Potts, co-director of the New Zealand Centre for Human and Animal Studies at Canterbury University, said she coined the term after doing research on “cruelty-free consumers.”
As one vegan from Christchurch puts it: “I believe we are what we consume, so I really struggle with bodily fluids, especially sexually.”
These fussy New Zealanders aren’t the only ones who struggle with the flow of sexual juices.  It’s only a matter of time before this moniker finds a home in the states, where women are always looking for new ways to tell fellas they simply don’t want their meat.
I wish I didn’t enjoy filet mignon so much, because I bet vegansexuality is a surefire way to spurn those annoying gentlemen callers who just can’t take a hint.  Beat it, pal. I don’t do carnivores.  I can see them sprinting for the nearest Outback now.