The Weekly Ringer

The University of Mary Washington Student Newspaper

That's What She Said…

3 min read


Now that all you football fans have had your end of the season celebration, it is my turn to enjoy a weekend match up between two differently attired teams.

…it’s time for the battle of the best dressed vs. the “what were they thinking?”

I know the Academy Awards might not seem similar to the Super Bowl, but the two are more alike than one might think.

Ryan Seacrest, teeth whitened to perfection, is sure to discuss both events at their close for his never ending E! News specials.

We all know the American Idol host probably prefers covering one event to the other, but his mega-watt grin is unlikely to falter during either as he discusses them while boasting about his heterosexuality.

Something that both occasions are also known for having is plenty of screaming fans.

Yes, football fans do use slightly more colorful language than your average movie-obsessed teenage girl.  Yet as those pigskin followers are being verbally aggressive, the teenage girls are probably practicing aggression of a more physical nature.

While the only tackling Eli Manning will have to worry about would be the kind that occurs on the field, something tells me that Brad Pitt might want to bring some extra security with him come Feb. 24.

And what about the red carpet, you ask?  There’s no red carpet at the Super Bowl.

True, but the way Brady charges down the 50 yard line with only minutes to go in the game is the exact same way Jennifer Aniston will weave through the glitz and the glamour in California this coming Sunday.

Football field or red carpet, both Brady and Aniston are facing a losing battle.

Brady wants to get to the end of that field and score those elusive final points.

Poor Jennifer Aniston just wants to avoid her ex-husband’s baby mama.

And then there’s the whole “it’s an honor to even be here” spiel that we heard from both teams and we’re sure to hear from Hollywood’s A-list.

We know the Patriots were pissed to lose to the underdogs, and you can bet if Johnny Depp loses the Best Actor prize to George Clooney, the next cover of US Weekly could very well say something along the lines of “Depp Bitter Over Loss – Claims Clooney’s an Addict!”

Luckily, the awards, like the big game, will have a referee of their own to interject should the beautiful and the botoxed get too riled up.

Sure, John Stewart will use comedy in place of a whistle to mediate, but who doesn’t like a good George Bush joke?

I will acknowledge the fact that both events call for very different dress codes.  The L.A. crowd would die of embarrassment if they were wearing the same Neil Lane earrings as someone else, let alone the same Chanel dress.

The athletes don’t seem to have the same problem with all of the repeat outfit wearing.

With tensions running high and competitors getting on their game faces, the atmosphere on Super Bowl Sunday and Oscar Night is strikingly similar.

Still don’t believe me?

Both the football and acting communities have experienced embarrassments this year at the hands of a certain blonde-haired, Tony Romo dating, “straight-to-DVD” Texan singer/actress.

Jessica Simpson wasn’t welcome at the Super Bowl and something tells me she won’t be present at the Academy Awards either.