‘Jackass 3’: charging bulls, beehive tetherball, and snakes

By COLEMAN CLARK

If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.

Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O and their crew of brave misfits return for a third round of cringe-worthy stunts in “Jackass 3.”

The version showing at Cheap Seats this weekend will not be the original 3D version, but the movie should still be effectively funny and gross in two dimensions.

The movie really should be seen in 3D for the full effect though. Seeing a remote controlled helicopter, tied to Chris Pontius’ penis, fly around the screen truly must have been what the inventor of 3D technology envisioned.

One might think it impossible to make three movies with virtually no plot or purpose (see the more recent “Star Wars” trilogy), but somehow the third entry in the series is still funny and entertaining.

Knoxville and company mercilessly wail on each other the entire film, using everything from a giant fish, to paintball guns, to a giant mechanical hand.
The “Jackass” boys must have balls of steel, though one scene involving a skittish donkey proves otherwise, to perform some of these stunts.

Knoxville attempts to camouflage himself from a charging bull, crashes a jet ski down a hill, and climbs to the top of tree then his friends cut it down.

Margera is still terrorizing his poor parents, April and Phil, this time faking a gorilla attack in their hotel room. However, he seems tired of the stunts, pranks, and his friends’ crazy antics, especially when they dump him into a pit of snakes, his worst fear.

Steve-O takes plenty of abuse while playing tetherball with a beehive, drinking sweat from a sauna suit, and in the most vomit-inducing scene of the movie, strapping himself into a Porta-Potty that is launched into the air. Needless to say, it’s a messy ride.

The rest of the gang gets in on the fun in stunts like super-gluing the aptly named little person, Wee Man, to the just-as-aptly named obese person, Preston Lacy.

Another scene involves extracting a tooth with only string and a Lamborghini, with nauseating results.

The stunts and pranks are hit or miss. It is apparent that these guys are running out of ideas, For every good stunt, like trying to stand behind a jet airplane’s turbine, there are just as many scenes of urinating on unsuspecting victims.

Three films in, the “Jackass” guys look like they are running on fumes. “Jackass 3” is fun, but it is time to give the emergency room doctors a break and retire. Definitely worth the dollar to go see it.