The Weekly Ringer

The University of Mary Washington Student Newspaper

Horoscopes 2/17/11

2 min read

Pisces: Feb 19 – Mar 20
Tread lightly. Juggling multiple partners at once is tricky, and you may be under suspicion. Try calling them all the same nickname to avoid an easy slip.

Aries: Mar 21 – Apr 19
Be bolder this week. Dress for the relationship you want, not the one you have.

Taurus: Apr 20 – May 20
Talk less, listen more. No one cares about what you have to say.

Gemini: May 21 – Jun 20
Remember: Opposites attract. Throw caution to the wind and just go for it. It’s worked well for you before and will work even better now.

Cancer: Jun 21 – Jul 22
It’s true that when one door closes, another one opens. However, when that door says “Girls’ Locker Room” on it, wait for another door. You know who you are.

Leo: Jul 23 – Aug 22
Don’t put that phone down just because it’s 4 a.m. on a Monday and you’re too drunk to see. Class can wait.

Virgo: Aug 23 – Sep 22
Tighten up your belt. Not financially. Literally. People have started to notice and you’re becoming the butt of several inside jokes.

Libra: Sep 23 – Oct 22
Try to be more approachable. Don’t wait for someone else to write your number on the bathroom stall—do it yourself.

Scorpio: Oct 23 – Nov 21
Be careful. Your roommate still hasn’t noticed how much of their food you’ve eaten, but it’s getting more obvious. Try fluffing up that bag of chips before putting it back next time.

Sagittarius: Nov 22 – Dec 21
It’s about quantity, not quality this week. More sexts—not better sexts—will show those special someones you care. Bonus points for drunk sexts.

Capricorn: Dec 22 – Jan 19
Don’t worry so much. You can always repeat a class…or sleep with the professor.

Aquarius: Jan 20 – Feb 18
Anything’s possible if you believe in yourself. If you fall out of the tree outside her window, just climb back up again! Don’t be discouraged.