The Weekly Ringer

The University of Mary Washington Student Newspaper

The Secret Origin of Spring Break

2 min read

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I think I can speak for everyone in the multiverse when I say that spring break is a great thing.

From here on Earth, to Earth 2: Earth Harder, all the way to the Dimensional Plane of Negative Energy (where nothing is ever good), spring break is a revered holiday, conceived in a womb of tragedy.

Oh, you didn’t know about the tragedy that started spring break?

Like all secret origin stories, it started back in World War II. Erwin Rommel, also known as the Desert Fox, was a German Field Marshal known for his brilliant tactics in the North African campaign.

The Fox worked tirelessly for his country, constantly figuring out how to achieve the upper hand, while also keeping up his troops’ morale.

That is, until one day, he fell asleep for an entire week. When he awoke, the German army was in shambles and he could not go through with any one of his well-laid plans. This was the beginning of the end of the North African campaign, and when the Germans finally withdrew, Rommel famously exclaimed, “Why isn’t there some sort of week-long break in the springtime?”

I guess it wasn’t very tragic for us, since if Rommel didn’t sleep that one time, the Nazis might have won in North Africa. But hey, the guy’s got a point, right?
There should be a week-long break in the springtime.

Fortunately, now there is one, but nobody agrees on what week Rommel chose to hibernate, and as such, every place celebrates spring break at a different time.

Now that the history lesson’s over, let me review Spring Break 2011:

I stayed in my UMW apartment. There’s something to be said for being able to walk around naked without having to worry about a roommate bursting through the front door with no warning other than that initial, horrible sound of a turning doorknob. I also watched “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” six times, but four of those were with commentary tracks, so I’m not a complete loser, right?

Once, I wandered around downtown Old Town and found some pretty creepy, run-down alleyways. Luckily it was daytime, so I probably wasn’t in any danger of getting shanked. Oh, and I cleaned my apartment!

Fascinating, right? I know!

On the other end of the spectrum, everyone I know in the world went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras and had the best time they will ever have in their lives, with the beads to prove it. I don’t know how they received those beads. I never want to know.

A spring break that includes experiences that range from a week-long introspection to a week-long party binge-fest sounds pretty good to me. Maybe even…perfect? Yeah. Perfect. The Desert Fox would be glad.

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