Fall Semester in Review

At the beginning of the semester, we were a body of unorganized minds without a care in the world. But now, thanks to the University of Mary Washington and its endless attempts to market and promote, we are now an Eagle Nation where great minds get to work and pay more for tuition.

The city of Fredericksburg lost its Border’s books, kicked the homeless out of downtown and complained that students living off campus were a nuisance to the community. We watched as Kim Kardashian got married…and then divorced, ten years of Harry Potter mania sadly concluded, and Steve Jobs went to the great iCloud in the sky.

UMW was occupied by protestors, shaken by an earthquake, flooded by a hurricane, mobbed by dancing orientation leaders during freshman orientation, and faced continued issues with on-campus parking. Chandler’s days were numbered as it is slated for demolition while Seacobeck lived to see another year.

This semester saw the inauguration of a new university president, and the resignation of the SGA president. A new website was launched, and a new marketing strategy was adopted as several pep rallies to announce these events were held and poorly attended. Eagle Landing had to be refinanced, and continued to be plagued by fire alarms, but no actual fires.

After saying words they never thought they would utter, “I miss Blackboard” when faced with the learning how to use Canvas, faculty seeking raises were instead given Macy’s gift cards. The Bullet was forcibly removed from its former home in Seaco, and UMW cops boarded segways in the name of campus safety. The Nest was renovated to incorporate our first chain dining location, Vocelli’s Pizza, and the Underground became a hippie music festival. In an unrelated event, the one-strike policy was done away with. The St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series, the Redskins continue to do poorly and we continue to not have a football team.

Students occupied the Board of Visitors, protested when Karl Rove and Ken Cuccinelli arrived on campus, were given the option to “dine-up” at Seaco. We paid ten dollars to see Lion King again, but this time through 3D glasses, and rejoiced when the “Arrested Development” movie was announced. Zooey Deschanel got divorced, and her own sitcom and the Muppets made a triumphant return to the big screen. Yet another Twilight movie premiered and confirmed once again that Kristin Stewart can’t act.

Sarah Palin announced that she wasn’t running for president and Osama Bin Laden found a final resting place somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. We got excited that Obama was coming, then disappointed when he wasn’t, then excited when he was, and then crushed when he wasn’t…again.

Fall 2011 was a semester of natural disasters, political unrest, and Rebecca Black’s “Friday.”
Be thankful you survived.