Horoscopes, 2-14-13

ARIES

Just because you are spending the evening with your class doesn’t mean that they love you.

TAURUS

You don’t believe in Valentine’s Day, but it believes in you.

GEMINI

Write a poem for your baker. Make sure you include M&Ms.

VIRGO

Stop acting like you don’t like Valentine’s Day. We all know you plan to lay in bed  eating chocolate all day.

PISCES

All of your romantic endeavors will pay off in the best way possible. Sex.

AQUARIUS

Try to find a lover this year that isn’t one of your hands.

SAGITTARIUS

If you like it, put a ring on it.

CANCER

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are alone, boo hoo.

LEO

You are more likely to learn how to fly than to find love abroad this summer.

LIBRA

Get a taste of your own bitterness with some dark chocolate.

SCORPIO

Your crush is too nervous to show you love. Get a new crush.