#NotMyGPA trends on campus as protests break out on unfair grades

By CHRIS MARKHAM

The school year is approaching its home stretch and students at the University of Mary Washington are feeling the academic pressure on their shoulders. For seniors, the grades they earn for the next month may dictate whether or not they earn a diploma in May.

While many are scrapping by with their grades, there are some students who are dealing with their poor grades outside of the classroom, library or office hours.

A new group has recently formed on UMW’s campus to combat, what they call “academic injustice” with different forms of peaceful protest on campus. So far, in the early stages of the protests, their main forms of statement are through banners hung off of the University Center, painting the Spirit Rock and chalking the parts of Campus Walk where rain doesn’t go, ensuring it lasts beyond its point of relevance.

Senior Mikey Barnes is one of the newest members of the group, citing his need to pass his last semester of classes as the reason for joining his 18th UMW club.

“At this point, I need a miracle to graduate on time,” Barnes said. “Protesting seems to be what all the kids are doing these days, so I figured I’d give it a shot. If anything, it’ll give me an excuse to skip class and procrastinate more.”

The group has not decided on a formal name yet, but sources say their current options are DivestGPA, Academics United and Take My Debt, Not My Degree. The group has formed a social media following as well, with the platform of #NotMyGPA, which is currently the highest voted post on Yik Yak. To spread their message, students will be selling #NotMyGPA t-shirts in front of Lee Hall all week.

However, the students selling the shirts have vowed to remain silent during the sales to honor those affected by academic injustice.

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.