UMW team plays other team in some sport

By ABBEY MAGNET

Photo & Sports Editor

On April 1, a UMW athletic team composed of either boys or girls played a game requiring skill and athleticism in an open area somewhere near campus. They played the game against a rival team, and one team lost and one team won. 

The stands were pretty full looking down on the baseball pitch, but I soon realized that I had gone to the wrong game and found my way over to the rugby diamond. There, they threw around a pigskin, and I saw the opposing team score a touchdown. 

I continued to observe the game and was excited when UMW got a goal, but the students in the stands did not seem as thrilled. I soon realized that I had been cheering on the wrong team. I suppose the colors should have been a dead giveaway; after all, one team wore red while the other sported blue uniforms.

Both teams played well—I think—but one did a little better than the other. One team scored three home runs and the other team hit 76 goals. 

Callie Harkins, associate editor and sophomore political science major, enjoyed watching the players compete.

“I came with my friend to watch the game and actually enjoyed myself. The players all did very well,” she said.

The weather was sunny with rain showers wreaking havoc on the turf. The players had to avoid massive puddles, but the man in the black and white striped uniform said the teams would continue to play despite the natural obstacles. During halftime, players enjoyed the muddy ground as if it were a Slip ‘N Slide.

Following the halftime entertainment, many students in the stands decided to leave because they were soaked by the rain, and all hopes of identifying the correct team were lost with the mud that covered their matching t-shirts. 

Some students left, feeling no need to stay and cheer on the teams because they believed UMW would lose.

“Yeah, I didn’t stay the whole game because I was wet and bored,” said News Editor and sophomore English major Ky Huynh. “I also assumed UMW wouldn’t be able to beat the opposing team.”

However, once the rain stopped, the teams were able to play much better.

UMW’s pitcher almost made a slam dunk during the second part of the game, but the other team spiked the ball out of the net before it could make it in. This resulted in a foul ball, giving the pitcher the chance to sink the shot and knock the ball out of the park.

Editor-in-Chief Norah Walsh, a senior Spanish and philosophy: pre-law double major, attended the game after realizing that she hadn’t been to many athletic events at UMW.

“I thought I was coming to a game that wouldn’t rival broadcasted sporting events, but I was seriously mistaken,” she said. “At first I thought I was confused about the rules of the game, but when the field turned into a Slip ‘N Slide, I confirmed that UMW knows how to entertain.”

The UMW goalie did a phenomenal job at keeping a rogue birdie hit by the rival team from making a hole-in-one as the clock dwindled to zero. With this final save, the stands erupted in cheers, not in support of the winner but rather rejoicing in the possibility of donning warm, dry clothing upon their return home. 

The Eagles will play again on May 8 against a different team. The game will take place on the football field at midnight, though none of the lights on the field will be on. 

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.