Personal Essay: Ella Cordle’s Official Guide to Un-Slumping

by ELLA CORDLE

Staff Writer

There’s a lot of pressure to make your college experience perfect. 

So what happens when it’s not going perfectly? Say you fail a midterm or even a class. Say your roommate is studying abroad, or moving in with some of their other friends and now you’re alone in your dorm. Say you have a messy breakup and now every time you leave your room you’re desperately hoping not to run into certain people on your miniscule campus. And say your mental health isn’t doing well, and none of this stuff is helping, and just getting out of bed and going to class every day feels like an impossibility. What do you do then?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had all those situations happen and they’re no fun, but unfortunately, they’re all pretty common college experiences. But common or not, setbacks like this can render us into an insurmountable slump.

I came to college to do well in classes, make friends, make good memories and prepare myself for my future. When any of those things aren’t happening how I want them to, it feels like a million steps backward. All of a sudden, I’m a junior, and I only have one full year left. What do I have to show for it?

A lot actually. Reminding myself of that is a good way to start climbing back out of my panic-induced slump.

We all came to college for a reason, a goal we wanted to achieve. Whether academic, athletic or social, a lot hinges on our precious four years at UMW.

Sometimes, the pressure feels like too much. Our goals are too big and overwhelming, or worse, we still don’t know what we want to do with our lives. Our time here is too expensive and tumultuous, and we’re not making the most of it, so it’s all a waste.

Well, I’m here to tell you that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Coming from someone who often feels like they’ve had more downs than ups during their time at college, every second was absolutely more than worth it.

College is the first time you have any real control over your life. You get to live independently from your family, go where you want when you want and make your own decisions about your future.

But that isn’t what makes it special. College is like living life with the training wheels on. You’ve got support systems propping you up, protecting you from crashing head-first into the rest of your life. So you have to make the most of this time.

Which brings us to Ella’s Official Guide to Un-Slumping:

Step one: Don’t lose momentum

It’s so easy to feel like you’re behind. So when you’re a ball of stress about every aspect of your life, missing an assignment or two feels like a no-brainer. I’ve had several periods throughout my college career where I didn’t have enough mental or emotional energy to devote to my classes. I feel like I’m stuck, and I can’t possibly do all of it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do some of it.

So do some of it. Find what works for you and do it, but if you’re feeling crushed by your own expectations on top of everything else that’s crushing you, it’s okay to let go a little. It’s much better than stopping. Be kind to yourself and sometimes, managing to do the bare minimum is something to be proud of, so you have to let yourself be proud.

Step Two: Focus on the positives

Don’t focus on the midterm you bombed, focus on the one you nailed. Don’t focus on the friends you don’t have, focus on the ones you do. I’m not telling you to ignore your problems—they’ll never get better that way, but obsessing over them is a great way to convince yourself that everything is terrible. You have to balance out your own naysaying with a reality check. Think positive because it’s never as bad as you tell yourself.

Step Three: Make memories every day

You’re in college, it’s supposed to be fun. I don’t mean partying like it’s 1999. You can, if that’s what floats your boat, but making good memories is about making time to do things that are fun to you. I like to make sure I’m making plans with friends most days of the week. Whether it’s just dinner at the CRUC, a silly movie night or a more noteworthy adventure, these good memories help me power through the bad ones. Doing fun things by yourself is just as important. I try to take time to craft for at least five minutes every day, just because it makes me feel good. Hanging on to those good feelings goes a long way.

Step Four: Don’t close yourself off

Doing new things is hard, but important. Whenever I feel like locking myself in my room forever and ever, that means I have to get up, put my shoes on, and go for a walk. If someone invites me to something, I have to say yes. Do I want to play Settlers of Catan with some near strangers? No, but maybe by the end of it, those strangers will be friends. Do I want to play pickleball with my friend’s roommate’s friend? No, but now I can say definitively that pickleball is overrated. If college is supposed to be about new experiences, and I feel like I’m wasting my time at college, then it sounds like I should hurry up and go have some new experiences pronto.

Step Five: Don’t give up hope!

The worst thing you can do is imagine that things won’t get better. College is such a special time in your life, and making the most of it is really important. Just because something isn’t working now doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. If you’re kind to yourself, and kind to others, and do the best you can, whatever that means to you, I think you’ll find that by the time you graduate, you’ll feel like you had the rich college experience that was right for you.