The Weekly Ringer

The University of Mary Washington Student Newspaper

Staff Editorial

2 min read

“The Juice is loose,” or it was, until last week.

O.J. Simpson better pray he can resurrect Johnnie Cochran sometime within the next couple months. This time he is behind bars for armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon, and kidnapping. If convicted, Simpson could face more than 70 years in prison, according to CNN.com.

This fallen football legend better hope that the Las Vegas police botch their investigation as badly as the LAPD did in 1995, or he may be in serious trouble. At 60, he can’t afford to be in jail for 10 years, let alone 70, and any more than a couple months is really going to hurt his golf handicap.

Simpson’s trademark arrogance really shows through in this case. What gave him the idea that he could get away with anything more than swearing in public? He above anyone else should know that everyone has already decided he did it, whether or not he actually did.

The saddest part of the case, however, is that if Simpson does go to jail, it will be for something absolutely removed from his most heinous crimes. If, by some weird stroke of luck, American justice works its magic this time, O.J. won’t be any closer to being brought to justice than he is now.

What is worse, the Brown and Goldman families still will not get any closure on their losses. He still won’t have to pay the $33.5 million he owes, and he certainly will not be any more remorseful. He will still maintain that he has never done anything wrong nor is the general assessment of his character fair.

I guess this means that, assuming O.J. walks, we can look forward to the treat of “If I Did It 2: Las Vegas.”

Books by felons who narrowly escaped the iron hand of justice are always fun, especially in two completely tasteless volumes. Court TV can also look for its ratings to dramatically increase over the next few months as well, just like they did in 1995. So I guess it’s not all bad.
We should be happy though, that O.J. Simpson will finally be put away and shut up. Maybe then we can forget about him while he rots away in a federal hole for what will almost certainly become the rest of his life.