That's What She Said

By Kay Boatner

This is the true story of a college senior, who decided to move away from home and into a tiny Manhattan apartment to pursue a career in journalism. Find out what happens when she can’t make rent and is forced to live on the streets.
The Real World: After Graduation.
We all know the MTV reality show is far from what true post-college life is like – the lavish living spaces, the beautiful roommates, the endless supply of alcohol and cool jobs handed to you on a platter.
It just doesn’t happen like that.
My after grad apartment is barely big enough for two, my roommate is cute but she’s no Svetlana from Key West, and I’ll be lucky if I can afford alcohol or even find a job.
The real real world is a lot scarier than any of the catfights or meltdowns ever aired in the past 20 seasons of the MTV staple.
For one thing, flirting is instantly easier on television.
Picking up people is a breeze when you have a cavalcade of cameras with you – the me generation is like bees to honey when they see recorders of any kind.
The singles scene becomes much harder to navigate, however, when the only pickup line you have is: “Hey, want to come back to my place and meet my cat?”
As for jobs, the seven roommates get sweet gigs like being travel writers for Frommers or surfing the high seas as sailing instructors in sunny San Diego.
But they’re not even grateful…all they ever do is bitch and moan about how annoying it is that work cuts into their hectic schedule of drinking, making out, and more drinking.
I would love to get paid to do either one of the above jobs without having to apply.
Instead, I have to schlep to the campus mailroom twice weekly to mail off application after application for minimum wage entry-level positions.
For a cushier post-graduation lifestyle, I’m beginning to think I should be mailing off an application of a different kind…one that would be addressed to MTV studios and feature a video of myself talking about how my ex-boyfriend’s tryst with his co-worker “like, totally changed my me.”
Including something about how I’m easily antagonized and tend to fall for random strangers all the time would probably help get me cast too.
That, and borderline alcoholism.
And if I’m not selected to become one of the infamous seven strangers, there’s still one more way to avoid the harsh realities of the actual real world.
…marry rich.
Kay Boatner is a college senior.  She will find out what it means to stop being polite and start getting real in May 2008.