By KJ ADLER
What makes a relationship an actual relationship in the college world is often complicated and differs among assorted couples.
To begin with, the way people define relationships varies greatly among individuals. Some believe in keeping relationships light and fun-filled, while others see monogamy as the only way two people can technically be together.
The one problem that I have seen time and time again with friends and potential cheating situations is that they don’t properly define the relationship before hand.
Just because you’ve been seeing someone, maybe even sleeping with them, does not mean that that person has become your one and only. A number of times, I have heard friends say with a defeated shrug that they weren’t technically dating after discovering that their object of interest has moved on.
But despite the gray areas, when a relationship happens and the Facebook status gets changed, so do the rules.
Suddenly looking around, flirting with others and sleeping around become taboo and will result in any number of repercussions: angry significant other, rumors behind the back, upset friends, and drama, drama, drama.
I’ve had a number of friends who have looked at me with that guilty expression on their faces—sometimes they’re complemented with a goofy smile—when they admit to me that they may have sort of, accidentally, kind of cheated on their better half.
In each case, there’s always an excuse that tries to place the cheater in the right, no matter how guilty he or she is.
So why do people do it in the first place?
Having been an attentive ear to cheaters of all shapes and sizes, I’ve come up with a few reasons as to why people find the need to cheat.
For starters, being the crazy, hormonal group of kids we are stuck in a small campus, figuring out life goals, and attempting to prepare ourselves for the adult world, sometimes it just becomes a little too much to come back to a girlfriend or boyfriend who expects you to be there for them as well.
Confused and tired, I believe that a lot of people cheat because the world they have set up for themselves has just become too much to bear and a perfect escape is to try something, or someone, new.
On the other hand, some people know perfectly well what they are doing and why they are doing it.
Boredom sometimes comes up for those who have been in a long-term relationship or are just not the relationship type.
Things start off grand but then level off to the point where it becomes real life again, without the butterflies and giggles.
Then a new person comes along and that initial sense of excitement can become just too much to bear.
I’ve seen cheating as an act of revenge between couples before as well.
Feeling that their partner has committed some atrocity that needs to be punished, some people feel that the best way to get back at them, as well as reestablish a sense of control in the relationship, is to cheat.
Finally, one of the most frustrating reasons I have come across, is that those who cheat and are forgiven will often cheat again.
I’m not saying that this is always the case but in many situations once someone is caught cheating and realizes that there is little punishment involved when caught, what’s to keep them from doing it again?
Having been cheated on in a relationship, I can understand why a lot of people are willing to take them back, forgive and forget, and just keep working on it.
But in doing so you’re not only validating the cheater but also punishing yourself even further.
So if you find that you can’t live without going for a person who isn’t your established girlfriend or boyfriend then please just be an adult about it and say goodbye to the relationship and hello to a new chapter in your sexcapades.