The Weekly Ringer

The University of Mary Washington Student Newspaper

Thought You Knew: New Years Resolutions Are Opportunity to Improve self

3 min read

It’s the New Year and you probably don’t feel any different.

I bet that’s because you think you’re too good to make resolutions. Well, you’re not. January may be almost over, but it’s not too late to change things.

According to an article in the U.K. Daily Mail, eight out of 10 people don’t even make resolutions anymore.

What the hell, guys?

It seems like everyone thinks they don’t need an arbitrary date on the calendar to tell them when to make changes in their lives. They’re probably right, but if you’re not going to make changes now, when will you?

New year, new you! That’s what I always say (I never say that).
But, really, why not?

Don’t say there’s nothing you need to change about yourself because there totally is. If there’s one thing every single person on the entire planet has in common, it’s that we could all be better.

How comforting is that? No matter how little else you have in common with someone, there’s still the realization that you could both be better people than you are right now. Way better. Bond over that.

How connected do you feel? I feel so connected to all of you, because we’re all terrible in our own uniquely-us ways.

Let’s make 2011 the year we’re marginally less awful than we were in 2010. Who’s with me?

I know, what could I possibly know about bettering myself? Well, if you knew me five years ago, you wouldn’t be asking that. Hell, if you knew me last year, you’d see how much progress I’ve made. I’m not saying that now I’m a good person and five years ago I wasn’t.

I know I’m still not a good person. But at least I’m better at being a bad person.

The best part about all of this is that there are tons of different ways to improve yourself. There’s no need to set some unattainable goal like “find a job after graduation” or “lead a happy and rewarding life” when there are so many other, easier ways to improve your current lifestyle.

There’s no right answer. If you want to focus your energy on getting better at hiding the fact that you’re usually drunk before noon, go for it. Or maybe you just want to have more one-night-stands. Whatever it is, I believe in you!

And once you’ve set a goal, there are so many ways to go about getting what you want. Just keep your eyes on the prize.

You could dedicate this year to focusing on your outward appearance. Go to the gym, consider wearing something other than sweatpants, stop eating fast food and get rid of that fat sodium face.

No one cares if you’re doing these things out of vanity. No one is going to say, “Sorry, bro, you can’t enjoy health benefits from going to the gym because you only go so you can get abs and get laid more.”

By resolving to become more attractive, you’re also getting healthy and your sex life is improving. You’re probably going to live a longer, more fulfilling life now.

And girl, don’t tell me you decided to leave your room in something other than a hoodie and pajama pants and someone complimented your outfit and now you feel a little better as you trudge through the daily nightmare that is our collective existence. That’s called self-esteem. You put effort into your appearance, and it was rewarded.

You’re welcome.

Physical appearance isn’t everyone’s top priority, though, or maybe you already have that on lock. Maybe you covered that in ’09. Either way, you could definitely be smarter.

Don’t get mad, I could be smarter too.

Be more curious about things that have nothing to do with school. I’m sure your parents are super proud of your 3.8 GPA, but no one else cares how well you do in school if you have no common sense.

Forget about becoming book-smart for a little while. Get street-smart, or relating-to-other-people-smart, or comprehending-humor-smart.

Honestly, I don’t care what you do, as long as you do something because, let’s face it, we all suck. We owe it to ourselves to suck a little less this year.