The Weekly Ringer

The University of Mary Washington Student Newspaper

Sexclamations: Avoid Rebound, Enjoy Being Single

2 min read

Nasty break ups suck. Not all break ups suck though, because sometimes running as fast as you can from that crazy ex is the best idea you’ve ever had. No, we’re talking about the big break ups of relationships that actually lasted a while and had some emotional attachment. Beware this emotional void, for it can lead to a relationship that is mainly created to fill that vacuum after a larger relationship has ended. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a rebound relationship.

When big relationships kick the bucket, they create a major hole. The newly singled people have to adjust to not having a big part of their life, and that can be very difficult. Suddenly, there is no one to blame for not being able to hang out with your buddies on Friday night.

To counter this problem, many people decide that being with someone again will solve their social problems. Sometimes this isn’t so much a conscious decision as much as a willingness to immediately jump into a new relationship before testing the relationship waters with to see if the temperature is warm enough.

This filling of the emotional hole doesn’t work because it runs on the assumption that someone else can immediately replace the ex. Love interests don’t come in six packs or as blue light specials from K-Mart, so treating them like replaceable parts won’t work so well. It also leads to the very dangerous situation of comparing the current partner to an ex; if the conversation ends up here, there will be blood.

In short, the biggest reason for rebound relationships is fear: fear of being single, fear of not being in a relationship and fear of being alone.  I pretty much just said the same thing three times, but this beast, like Satan, goes by many names. No matter what this fear is called, it perpetually keeps people from moving on from their old relationships and growing as an individual.

The best way to avoid a rushed rebound relationship is to be patient and enjoy some time being single. As Treebeard from Lord of the Rings once said, “Don’t be hasty.” While I’m pretty sure he was talking about something besides relationship counseling, his advice works here too. Life is not a race and people who get into more relationships faster don’t necessarily win. Therefore, one should take some time to relax and enjoy being single before committing to another relationship.