“Hot dad material”: Pedro Pascal carries the acting industry, suffers severe spinal injury on the job

EMMA BRENNAN

Online Editor

Actor Pedro Pascal, of “The Mandalorian” and “Kingsman: The Golden Circle” fame, injured his back on Wednesday evening. The injury undoubtedly results from him carrying the entire acting industry on his sexy, talented, broad shoulders.

Pascal’s recent hits in 2023 which include “The Last of Us” and season three of “The Mandalorian,” has led to many interviews over the past three months. His interviews, work ethic from being overly talented and dangerously sharp jaw likely led to this injury. News outlets also reported additional underlying injuries likely due to him being an overachiever in the acting business. 

Many people have shown support for his acting chops, charming personality and charisma, and his talent is abundantly recognized throughout the world.

“Tom Holland is absolute dog water compared to our lord and savior Daddy Pascal,” said sophomore historic preservation major Adam Shinberg. “His role as Joel in ‘The Last of Us’ was magnificent because his aesthetic and the way he portrayed Joel was spot-on from the original video game. He’s also hot as hell.”

Junior political science and philosophy: pre-law double major Corbin Poyer also showed support of Pascal’s role as Joel Miller in HBO’s “The Last of Us” series. “He’s a really talented method actor,” she said. “I anxiously await seeing more of Pedro’s acting chops alongside Bella Ramsey throughout the entirety of ‘The Last of Us’ season two.”

Obviously, people have strong opinions about Pascal. His fans feel zealously about him as a person and as a character in their favorite shows, with many seeing him as the father figure he so often portrays, even though the actor has no lineage of his own. 

“He’s such hot dad material,” said senior Spanish major Diana Olguin. “And he’s collecting kids like Pokémon.” 

Olguin also noted his stellar personality, which is something we all look for in a father figure.

“He’s so easy to like because he matches the energy of whoever he’s talking to,” she said. “Co-workers sing his praises, he’s so agreeable. This is why kids like him! They keep casting him as a capable, loveable dad because he already is.”

In an interview by Pascal’s Pals, a news outlet entirely run by his fandom, Pascal’s co-star Lena Headey spoke on his commitment to acting and his ability to recover from serious injuries. 

“Pedro, while playing Oberyn Martell, really gave it his all,” she said. “He was willing to, and did, have his skull crushed by HJ Björnsson, who plays The Mountain. Somehow, Pedro simply regenerated his head and put all of his brains back in, got a sandwich from craft services and waved goodbye to everyone. It took us all a bit off guard, but it was an amazing sight.”

Coincidentally, around three years after Pascal starred in “Game of Thrones,” he was subjected to yet another gruesome demise when starring in “Kingsman: The Golden Circle.” An interview by Pedro Pascal Daily that featured Taron Egerton and Pascal himself revealed more about his method acting.

“This dude was the best actor I’ve ever worked with,” Egerton said. “This is a spoiler, but when his character, Agent Whiskey, got thrown into the meat grinder towards the end of the movie, Pedro actually threw himself into the meat grinder. We were all a bit shocked, but he’s so method that we got used to the ways he connected to his character. He didn’t even need a medic, he just put himself back together.”

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information and actor quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.