One and a Half is the Loneliest Number

March 7 was a tragic day for American television.

Carlos Irwin Estevez, better known as actor Charlie Sheen, was fired from CBS’s hit comedy series “Two and a Half Men” due to disparaging remarks he made about one of the program’s creators during various interviews.

Sheen could not be reached for comment at the time of publication.

Despite his tumultuous personal life, Sheen was the foundation of “Two and a Half Men.” Not only did he sniff the glue that held the show together; he was that glue.

According to the American television seasonal ratings, “Two and a Half Men” ranked in the top 20 for the first seven seasons it was on the air. The show has won five Primetime Emmy Awards and was nominated for several more.

In fact, the only known human being who has ever spoken out against “Two and a Half Men” goes by the name tacoman771.

“People like this???!!!” he said on a tv.com forum for the show.

No, tacoman771, people love this.

Sheen’s departure lead to an early finale for season eight, but CBS has not reached a decision regarding the continuation of the show which was, prior to Sheen leaving, set to air for two more seasons.

Aspiring television writer and class of 2010 graduate Nti Aning was devastated when he heard the news.

“What am I going to watch with my mom from now on?” Aning said. “I refuse to watch ‘Pretty Little Liars.’”

It is with sentiments like Aning’s in mind that I ask everyone to please take a moment of silence to mourn the end of “Two and a Half Men” as we know it. Without Sheen’s bad boy sex appeal and perfect comedic timing, the show is nothing more than an account of one man and a teenage boy living in Malibu.

The “Two and a Half Men” I know and love was a dynamic tale that kept viewers enthralled from the opening notes of the complex, yet upbeat theme song, to the hilarious misogyny brought on by that wacky Charlie and his interactions with the slew of one-night-stands he paraded through eight glorious seasons of primetime.

There were one-dimensional moments of camaraderie and understanding between the two men and we got to see that little half man grow up before our very eyes. “Two and a Half Men” relied heavily on guest stars and even used a laugh track during most of its time on the air.

How many other shows today are brave enough to use a laugh track?

And, yet, as great as “Two and a Half Men” was, it is great no more.

Without Sheen, “Two and a Half Men” cannot go on. It would be unfair to let the American public believe for just one moment that the show could ever return to its original splendor without the fresh face of Charlie Sheen illuminating the screen for the final two seasons.

Television connoisseur and senior Ryan Forbes is optimistic about the future of “Two and a Half Men,” though, and hopes the show will continue for years to come.

“There’s a rumor that they’re trying to get John Stamos to join the show,” Forbes said. “John Stamos is a better Charlie Sheen than Charlie Sheen.”

Though Forbes’s positive outlook on the future is admirable, it’s best we don’t get our hopes up.

We all saw what happened to “That 70’s Show” after Topher Grace left.

[Photo credit: Jordan Kroll]